my minds in a dark space, my heart can bearly race, veins drained, from all the pain, inflicted on my kind heart, only to let my soul rip itself apart, all alone in this dark. my mind was clear, once like my wrists, before i started with all the slits, now all i want is a ditch, to rest my body in, from its aches, from all my sins .the pressure you sank me in, made me submerged in a tank, oh how i would be dead if it werent for BC’s DANK. (BUD!!!NIGkA)
what my wrists say…
FAT x2
DUMB BITCH x2
WHORE x1
STUPID x1
HIDEOUS x1
UGLY x1
USELESS x1
WORTHLESS x1
Self Injury..
Age?
17
Sex?
female
Label yourself (prep, goth, druggie, weirdo, etc.)
stoner (that occasionally does DRUGS!)
How long have you been cutting?
JAN 2010, its APRIL 2013 now
Favorite tool?
BLADES From: utility knives, and single razors you cut out of the head.. and SHARP steak knifes
Where (place) do you cut (school, home, etc.)?
Bedroom
Do you cut on your stomach, or chest?
arms (wrists n backs) only atm.. I cut my tit once :/ idk why i didnt want anyone to see n was only in gr 8.. and my thighs
Are your legs, arms, & other body parts covered in scars?
calfs,thights, and arms.
Have you ever been hospitalize
because of your cutting?
No
when was the last time you cut?
Yesterday
Off the top of your head, about how many scars do you have? 700.. 800.. i used to cut like 50+ times a day :/
Who knows you cut?
more people than I would like. ATM my bf cuz he saw and grabbed my arm, his bff cuz hes smart, and one friend who saw on the bus just a letter.. i wouldnt show him the rest
Have you ever been caught cutting?
No
Have your parents ever confronted you about a bloody sleeve, or towel?
no
Did you have a good childhood?
Meeeh… is an overstatement
Why do you cut?
Cutting is something I do for release. And i hate myself and need to be punished.
Have you ever talked to a therapist or counselor?
fuck them they all straigh cracked out pieces of scum that i want to stab imma bomb em all fuck you bitches useeleessss humans.
Do you want to stop cutting (but can’t because of addiction)? ya
Do you like cutting?
i love the blood dripping, the numbness going to sleep, feelings being awoken for once. i love it. but when i blaze i almost cry for myself n like throw up cuz its heinous :/
How many times have you tried to commit suicide?
4 or 5 times. hospitalized twice.
What are your views on cutting, and other self-injury?
it’s a terrible thing and no one should be in pain like this, its so sad the world, how everyone is. its just pathetic. poor people doing wrong, when they think they right.
Do you like watching movies with self-injury?
Yes
Do you like looking at pictures of self-injury?
Yes
Do you sometimes envy other people (non-self-injurers)
Yes. their perfect wrists.
Have you ever taken any pictures of your cuts/scars?
Yes, often. i cant seem to see if theyre bad or not in reality but on the screen for some reason its like its not me so it matters so i can see the truth.
Do you want to die?
YES. more than anything, but i have to stay and help the world fight for its rights, for rocks cannot speak.. i must speak for the voiceless. cuz i know how it feels suffering in silence, not being able to scream. and plus if i killed myself my mom would kill herself and my dad and my sister cuz we all be fucked up.
Have you ever done a school assignment on cutting, or self-injury?
no. id kill the teacher who assigned it. if i wanna know shit. dats what google for dumbasses.
Have you ever needed stitches from cutting?
probs but i dont give 2 fucks.
Do you dream about cutting?
no. i better not now assholes.
What do you use to bandage your cuts?
gauzze.. papertowl.. tape… bandaids no workkkk. “/
Reblog if you’d care if I killed myself
da self harm quiz (do this 4 u guys)
My self harm quiz
1. How old were you when you started self-harming?
****by the way (420glowinthedarkchronic speaking) im only doing this so yall can check yourself before you wreck yourself cuz shit sometimes looks different “on paper” so im being honest with you in hopes youll pass this on not to feel ashamed, or alone**
[] Younger than 4
[] 4-7
[] 7-10
[] 10-12
[x] 12-15 (i was 13, Gr. 8 Jan 28 )
[] 15-16
[] 16-17
[] 18-19
[] 20-21
[] Older than 21
2. How often do you self-harm?
[x]Depending on what mood I’ve been in…
[x] More than once a day
[x] Once a day(usually)
[] Several times a week
[x] Once or twice a week
[] Two or more times a month
[x] Once a month
[] Several times in a year
[] Once a year
[] I have stopped
[x] am trying to stop
3. What method of self-harm do/did you primarily use?
[x] Cutting
[] Burning
[]Hair-pulling
[] Scratching
[] Interference with the healing of wounds
[X] Hitting or bruising
[X] Bone breaking
[x] Cutting and Scratching
[] Cutting and Burning
[X]Hitting Head against walls
[]Binging
[x] Purging
[X] Starving
[] Biting
[] rubber band slaps
4. If You Self Harm What Sexual Orientation Are You?
[] Straight Male
[x] Straight Female
[] Bi-Sexual Male
[] Bi-Sexual Female
[] A-sexual female
[] A-sexual male
[] Homosexual Male
[] Homosexual Female
[] Transgender Male
[] Transgender Female
[] Questioning Male
[] Questioning Female
[] Pan-sexual Male
[] Pan-Sexual Female
[] Prefer not to answer
[] Demisexual Female
5. Which Of These, If Any, Are Something You Struggle With Along With Self-harm?
[X]Anorexia
[X] Bulimia
[x] Eating/Body dysmorphic disorder
[X]Anorexia and Bulimia
[] EDNOS
[x]Suicidal
[x] Various Psychiatric Disorders (i.e. Bi-polar,Borderline Personality, OCD, Panic, Anxiety, PTSD, Dissociative, Impulse Control Etc.)
[x] Learning Disabilities
[]None of the Above ~Not Diagnosed with anything~
[] Not professionally diagnosed
6. Do You Think That You (as An Individual) Need Professional Help To Stop Self-harming?
[] Yes, The Only Way I Could Stop Is With Professional Help
[x] No, I Have Stopped On My Own ~in the past~
[X] No, I Have Stopped On My Own Though I Still Struggle Often And Sometimes Mess Up
[X] I Have No Desire To Stop And Therefore Don’t Need Professional Help
[] Yes, I Have Stopped With Professional Help ~In The Past~
[] I don’t think I could ever stop without Professional help
[] Currently getting professional help
[] Prefer not to answer
[] I don’t know
7. Are You Trying To Stop Self Harming?
[x] No, And I Don’t Want To Stop.
[x] No, But I Would Like To Be Able To Stop
[] Yes, But I Am Not Doing Very Well
[] Yes, I’m going through recovery
[] I Am Completely Self Harm free
8. Does Anyone Know About Your Self Harm?
[X] No. No One Knows
[] Some People May Have A Vague Idea Of Something
[] Yes, But Only My Closest Friend (s)
[] Yes. But Only Some Of My Family Member(s)
[] Yes, Some Friend(s) And Family Member(s) Know
[]Yes, All (or Most Of) My Friends Know
[]Yes, All (or Most Of) My Family Know
[X] Yes, People that see my scars/cuts
[] Just a couple of people I trust
[] Yes, My Therapist, Psychiatrist, etc
[X] Old Friends, Distant memories,
[X] Close Friends Suspecting
9. How many years have you been self-harming?
[]1 or less years
[] 2 years
[] 3 years
[x] 4 years ~on and off~
[] 5 years
[] 6 years
[] 7 years
[] 8 years
[]9 years
[] 10 or more years
10. If You Self-harm, Were You Abused Or Neglected (either As A Child Or Later In Life)? 13 and up bitch. :/
[] No
[X] Yes, I Was Emotionally Abused
[X] Yes, I Was Physically Abused
[X] Yes, I Was Sexually Abused
[X] Yes, I Was Emotionally And Physically Abused
[] Yes, I Was Physically And Sexually Abused
[X] Yes, I Was Sexually And Emotionally Abused
[X] Yes, I Was Emotionally, Physically And Sexually Abused
[X] Yes, I Was Neglected
[X] Yes, I Was Neglected As Well As Being Abused
[] Prefer not to answer
11. Would you label yourself as emo?
[] Yes
[x] No
[x] I guess..?
12. Do others label you as emo?
[X] Yes
[] No
[] Some People
[x]I don’t know (About my friends n shit :/)
13.What would you or others label you as? (chose all that apply) Please select all that apply.
[] Prep
[] Goth
[x] Emo?
[] Punk
[x] Not Sure
[] Nerd
[] Hipster
[X] Pothead
[] Poser
[] Skater
[x] Druggie
[x] Normal
[] I dont know
[X] I don’t believe in labels
14. What is your reaction when you see other people’s self-harm scars/cuts/marks? (choose all that apply)
[x] I want to get to know them
[x] I wonder what they went through to feel that was a way out
[] I want to get as far as possible from them so no one will find out about my own self-harm
[x] I will acknowledge them as someone who shares something in common with me
[] I would never even acknowledge them
[X] What happened for them to start cutting
[] Fear
[x] Interest
[x] Sadness
[] Happiness
[] Don’t really care
[] No reaction
[x] Surprise
[X] Relief
[] Jealousy
[] Upset that nobody else cuts as bad as me
[x]Happy that nobody else cuts as bad as me
CHRONORONIC
Chronic, I feel empty,
Need that feeling of plenty;
Take away the feeling of wrong,
Longing to take hit from a bong
The feeling creeps up
I tell it to shut up
But it won’t go away
It thinks it’s here to stay
But it could not be more inaccurate
I need some chron to cure it
Fill me up with the warmth
Fill me up with that umpf
Smoke wraps around, gives you a hug
Of course you love it, feels smug
Takes you up to the sky
When your feelings die
And sink low like your heart
And the feeling of restart
Need that earthy smell
To bring me up from hell
From the dead to make me arise
Like the sunset’s reflective in your eyes
It shows me the sparkle
When I’m feeling dull
When I need that grasp
I call on some quality grass
For the magnetizing fulfillment
Of the necessary implement
Of using your apparatus to make you high
To make you feel as if you can fly
It shows you that you’re your own star
And your own light will take you very far
